How Connection Impacts Your Well-being
Rethinking Health: It’s More Than Just Diet & Exercise
When you think about health and wellness, what comes to mind first? If you’re like most people, it’s probably diet and exercise. Maybe sleep and stress management get a mention too. But there’s one piece of the puzzle that’s often overlooked—our relationships. Strong social connections are a cornerstone of mental health and emotional well-being.
This past year, I’ve realized just how much my relationships have shaped my well-being—not just having them, but truly investing in their quality. I’ve also spent more time thinking about the connections I currently have--some of which may not be giving me the energy or support that I truly need.
The Science of Strong Connections
Strong social connections play a crucial role in enhancing both mental and physical health. Harvard’s well-known 85-year study on happiness found that healthy relationships are the single biggest predictor of longevity and overall well-being—even more than diet or exercise. People with robust social ties experience lower rates of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, greater empathy, and more trusting and cooperative relationships. Conversely, a lack of social connection is associated with increased risks of inflammation, heart disease and a shorter lifespan.
Another great example is found in the common lifestyle factors of those living in the Blue Zones—geographic areas of the world with lower rates of chronic disease and longer life expectancy. Among other pillars we’re already familiar with—diet, exercise, sleep, purpose. etc.—having strong community and social connections are also at the foundation of that list.
With all the negativity out in the world, the quality of the connections in our lives can have some of the biggest impact on our well-being.
How Relationships Affect Your Health: One Person Can’t Be Your Whole Village
Ever notice how women tend to reach out to friends during stressful times? This isn’t just habit—it’s science. The "tend and befriend theory"—characterized by seeking social support during stress—has been identified as a beneficial coping mechanism, particularly among women. This response promotes bonding and calming effects, mediated by the release of oxytocin, and offers safety benefits by fostering social networks.
A recent potluck I hosted for International Women’s Day this year
I heard a great takeaway from a podcast I'd listened to from Esther Perel, a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships. (If you've never read or listened to her, a highly recommend it! She truly has such great nuggets.) Esther emphasizes that expecting one person to fulfill all our needs is unrealistic and can strain relationships. "...We turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling."
Perhaps a topic for another time but if you’re in a committed relationship and depend on your partner for anything and everything with respect to your emotional well-being, that could potentially put its own strain on your connection on top of the myriad of other things pulling at you on a day-to-day basis: work, kids, household responsibilities, family, etc. Seeking out and nurturing the connections you have outside your primary relationship is not only integral to your emotional well-being and relationship health, but can also positively impact your marriage. As a health coach, I see firsthand how cultivating strong relationships supports not just mental resilience, but also lasting healthy lifestyle changes.
So, here’s your nudge: Reach out. Send the text. Plan the coffee date. And if a relationship is draining you? It might be time to reevaluate without guilt.
Healthy relationships aren’t just nice to have—they’re essential for mental health and overall well-being. Who will you reach out to today?